As you may know I’m into minimalism, clean living, sustainability and living with intention. I feel like all of these things work in tandem with working towards financial independence as they get you thinking about the bigger picture and doing (or not doing) things to keep your life simpler yet happier.
It’s not about depriving yourself but about finding the simple things in life that bring you joy and cutting out all the rest. You’d be amazed once you take a step back and itemize these, how much excess there is in your life and how little you actually need to be happy. This applies not only to expenses but also activities and even people.
In this post I go a bit outside the pure analysis I usually do and look at things that might help you to think about what’s really important to you now. This might help to put things into perspective so that you can start prioritizing those things that bring you joy and cutting out anything or anyone that does not, possibly even speeding up your path to financial independence.
Expenses
I recently watched a documentary called Playing with FIRE where the starring family led the American Dream lifestyle, big house by the beach, 2 new luxury cars, lots of restaurants and fine wines etc. but they were so busy working to pay for that lifestyle that they rarely got down time with their young daughter. This caused them to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. One exercise was to list out the 10 things they do on a weekly basis that brings them joy.
These were the mothers:
- Hearing her baby laugh
- Having coffee with her husband
- Cuddling with her baby
- Going for a walk
- Going for a bike ride
- Enjoying a glass of wine
- Good chocolate
- Talking to parents and family
- Having family dinners
- Reading to her baby
What they realised was that not one of those things were, getting to live by or spend time at the beach or driving in a big fancy car – while those are things they may enjoy, they did not make the top 10. They also realised that all of those things were things they could do almost anywhere, so why are they paying the premium to live in that area.
If you did a similar exercise, would there be bigger expenses that you are working your butt off to pay for that actually bring you no joy and in some cases actually cause more hassle as they are something to worry about getting damaged or lost?
A few things I personally don’t spend money on anymore which save me heaps are:
- Clothes
- I recently looked at my expenses from the year before I came to Ireland and I spent 2,500$ (1,700€) on clothes that year alone, I was shocked! Over time and as I woke up to the damage the fashion industry is doing to the environment I lost interest in buying new fancy clothes and got out of the habit of buying for fun. Last year I spent 100€ on maternity clothes and that’s it. I can think of better things to do with 2,500$ than adding clothes to an already overstuffed closet.
- Make-up/Toiletries
- I was never big into make-up and perfumes etc so this didn’t take much to cut out, even still the year before we came to Ireland I spent 400$ (270€) on “natural” make-up as I was already on my journey to living with less waste and chemicals in my life. Even that make-up dried out my eyes and made my skin itch when I put it on so it’s really not something I miss.
- Cars
- We’ve always driven an older car and never had a car payment as this would have been a huge expense that didn’t bring us enough joy to justify the cost. We go for reliable brands (can’t beat a Toyota) so if you buy old it doesn’t necessarily mean more in maintenance.
- Accessories (handbags, jewellery)
- I wasn’t much into these things either though always had my eye on nice earrings or necklaces and admired other people’s fancy handbags and shoes but over time I have lost my lust for these things too. Even my engagement and wedding rings were less than 200$ combined (140€). This means if I lose one I won’t lose sleep over them, and yet I still love the look of them. I have a pile of costume jewellery from before that I’d like to get rid of as I never wear it anymore. I might have a few pieces I wear on nice occasions but that’s it. As for my handbag, it’s currently a nappy bag that looks like a purse!
- Restaurants
- The year before we came to Ireland, my husband and I spent almost 6,000$ (4,000€) on restaurants and lunches out, last year I think we spent about 1,450€ which includes Mr. MH’s work lunches and only 300€ on dinners out. While I enjoyed those occasions having dinner with friends etc I don’t really miss the going for dinner bit as having the extra money to put towards extended holidays and time with family makes up for it.
- Gifts
- We used to spend big on Christmas especially for each other when we would buy all kinds of gadgets and clothes etc. The year before we came to Ireland we spent 3,000$ (2,000€) on gifts, again I was shocked by this figure. We’ve stopped going all out and now put the money towards holidays, again prioritizing time together over material things.
- Home furniture/accessories
- This was my weak point, I LOVE to decorate and organise, but since we’ve embraced minimalism I really try to have only the necessary items that simplify life and bring me joy in my home. Instead of continually changing things around, getting new bedding, new curtains, new kitchen gadgets etc etc I am happy with what I have. I still buy quality items that will last and that I love but far fewer. Even in the year before we came to Ireland when we knew we were moving I still managed to spend 1,700$ (1,200€). Last year – the second year in our new home, I spent less than 100€ on things for the house.
And so on. What items do you spend money on which don’t bring you that much joy? If you could start cutting down on some of those things, would you be able to work part time as a result, getting more time at home and with family?
Activities
I recently joined a Minimalist Mom group on Facebook and am constantly seeing posts about what activities they have their kids involved in and how they simplify their schedules. A lot of families I know are so over-scheduled running their kids everywhere on evenings and weekends that in addition to busy jobs, their personal lives are also super busy.
Even without kids, I know people who fill their weekends to the brim with activities, travelling or going out and drinking heavily one or both of the nights that the days are a write-off. This is an interesting video and interesting post on some compelling reasons to cut back on partying/drinking, including losing something like 20 hours of your life to one night out including prep, attendance and recovery time.
Now if those are things that bring you joy, more power to you but for me I can’t cope.
I suffer badly from hang overs and so stopped drinking, but actually feel much better for it and still have fun at parties.
I also keep my evening and weekend times unscheduled as much as possible as too many activities are a major drain for me (an introvert thing) and I protect my time and energy by saying no to a lot of things – this also saves money.
I came across another interesting thought which is, every time you say yes to something, you are saying no to something else – keeping this in mind might help you to say no more often and reduce your fear of missing out.
I was actually recommended this mama’s podcast, she is into minimalism, decluttering, unburdening ourselves as parents and simplifying life. She even has courses on how to simplify your life if you are feeling a little overwhelmed with it all.
Some of the comments I read from fellow parents in terms of keeping things simple were:
- One parent drops off and the other collects the kids, they alternate who makes dinner and limit to 2 activities 1 day a week each
- Some have one parent stay at home
- Some homeschool or unschool (I will post more on this another time as it warrants its own post)
- Some limit extra curricular activities to one per child per season
- Some look at the week ahead and make sure there is space for down time for all
Studies show that kids need downtime and unstructured time to give their brains a break and time to process what they’ve learned. Activities like artistic creation, playing outside, daydreaming, solitary, creative play or taking a relaxing bath all work. Without time off from serious challenges, the brain can’t fully synthesize new information and life experiences in order to make effective use of these in the future.
I believe the same is true for adults. I’ve had somewhat forced times of downtime with breastfeeding or sitting and watching my baby play where I purposely stopped looking at my phone and actually have my biggest brain waves during these quiet times. Things seem to click together. Otherwise every minute of my day my brain is on, scrolling through social media, listening to the radio or podcasts in the car or on walks etc, there is no time for the brain to process and so I would wake in the middle of the night with my brain flooding with ideas and not letting me sleep (which is also extremely important for processing information).
So next time you are waiting for something, waiting for a meeting to start, going on a walk or in the car try your best to not pull out your phone or switch on the radio and just let your brain wander! See what happens!
People
It is said that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
The people you spend the most time with shape who you are. They determine what conversations dominate your attention, which attitudes and behaviours you are regularly exposed to and eventually you start to think like they think and behave like they behave.
I’m reading a book called Raising Boys in the 21st Century and in it they talk about mirror neurons which are probably linked to this concept. They were first discovered in 1996. This network of nerve cells run alongside motor nerves. They mirror everything we see or watch and these actions are stored in our brains, making it easier to copy. This is the reason we can learn skills as fast as we do. But I can imagine it also leads us to imitate bad behaviours if we surround ourselves with negative people or people that are bad with money. This is why its so important to watch how you talk, act and behave around your children but also applies to who you surround yourself with.
So who are your 5 people?
One suggestion I read was to surround yourself with people you admire and eventually you will become like them.
Also that you will need to actively construct your social environment. Don’t let it depend on proximity or chance or on how it has always been, but consciously plan which opinions, attitudes and life-philosophies you do and do not allow to be in your life.
Ask yourself, who do you spend the most time with? Who are the people you most admire? Are those two groups of people the same?
Here is a cool animation expanding on this concept.
Another quote I think of often is by Eleanor Rosevelt “Great minds talk about ideas, average minds talk about events and small minds talk about people”.
Which of these do you talk of the most?
I hope that some of these exercises help you to take a step back and figure out what’s most important in your life and to think of ways to make them more of a priority both on the path to and upon reaching financial independence. I’d love to hear how some of them turned out or if you had any surprises.
For me, it was interesting looking back at my past spending as I don’t feel like cutting certain things out was a conscious decision or effort (though maybe it was and I can’t remember) but it hasn’t felt like a burden and I’m no less happy for not having those things in my life. It’s weird to see what my priorities were by my spending just 5 years ago and how that has naturally evolved into something very different!